


(is there) any just cause for feeling like this

by Dawn_Blossom



Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: (grima has bad intent at first but it gets tender very fast), (putting the porn in identity porn ahaha), Anal Fingering, Biting, Chrom's POV, Coming At The Same Time, Dubious Consent Due To Identity Issues, Hand Jobs, Identity Porn, M/M, Porn with Feelings, Spit As Lube, Tender Sex, Vanilla, implied attempted rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:42:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28452579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dawn_Blossom/pseuds/Dawn_Blossom
Summary: The hierophant comes to Chrom's room at night. Chrom doesn't know he's from the future. Grima doesn't know what he's in for (namely, Chrom's tender affection).
Relationships: Chrom/Gimurei | Grima, Chrom/My Unit | Reflet | Robin
Comments: 8
Kudos: 42





	(is there) any just cause for feeling like this

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, so who had "Dawn writes smut" on their 2020 bingo card? Because *I* didn't see this coming. Yet here we are on the last day of the year...
> 
> Yeah, so... this is my first ever smut fic. I tried to do research, but... what I found is that everyone seems to have an opinion on Good Smut Writing, these opinions are strongly held and deeply felt, and they all conflict with each other (well, almost all... I'm glad everyone generally agrees that manmeats do not belong in love caverns unless you're writing a parody).
> 
> That stated, I hope you can enjoy this for what it is: my best first effort. (Oh, the things I do for my otp...)
> 
> Title is from [(I Just) Died In Your Arms](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dOwHzCHfgA) by Cutting Crew. It's about the sexy kind of death :)

Relaxation has never come easily to Chrom in unfamiliar places. He was used to this feeling just two years ago, when the war kept him away from Ylisstol more often than not. Now he will have to get used to it again. He does not know how the fight against Walhart will proceed, but a man like that never goes down quickly.

And that is assuming that his mission here in Plegia is successful, that he is able to acquire the resources he needs. Without the aid of the Plegian crown, the truth is that he may well not live to see his home again.

Of course sleep isn’t coming easy to him with thoughts like that. It doesn’t help that the last time he came anywhere near this castle, he was set on killing its king… The bad memories flood his memory naturally. It doesn’t help that many who served the old king now serve the new one. Though Gangrel’s soldiers threw down their arms in Emmeryn’s name, Chrom doubts that he and his own army have been so easily forgiven and forgotten by the people. He is uneasy, too, at the way King Validar was not present for the Shepherds’ arrival today. One of his advisors had assured Chrom that no insult was meant, and that he was unavoidably held up by an error in the preparation of religious rites in a nearby city. But the explanation feels contrived; even Robin was prepared to be met with an ambush at some point.

Perhaps they are being too paranoid. None of the Shepherds have come to any harm today. But this kind of logical thinking only keeps Chrom lying awake even longer.

He is soon grateful for his bout of insomnia. A knock too quiet to rouse him out of slumber comes at the door of the room that, so it was sworn, the king personally arranged for his comfort. Though he opens the door cautiously at first, all his apprehension drains away when he sees who is on the other side.

“Robin!” he greets. “You couldn’t sleep, either?”

Perhaps he shouldn’t sound so happy about it. But it has been a while since they’ve been up so late together, and longer still since Robin has come to Chrom’s room. Ever since his marriage, everything he owns has necessarily been his wife’s, but he’ll be damned if he has to share every private moment with Robin with her, too.

Robin doesn’t appear so thrilled. He’s clutching his coat unusually tight around him, and his legs… are bare. He must have thrown his coat over his sleepwear. In this castle’s drafty hallways, that can’t be comfortable.

Chrom quickly steps away from the doorframe, and Robin, after a moment’s hesitation, walks inside.

“I didn’t think you’d…” Robin shakes his head. “Never mind.”

He sounds upset. Worried, Chrom looks around for a candle to light, but Robin raises a hand to stop him.

“Don’t bother.” There’s a hint of a growl in Robin’s voice. “Go back to bed.”

“If I couldn’t sleep before, I hardly think you storming in here will have helped—”

“Just do what I said.” 

This time, Robin really does let out a growl. It’s the kind of tone he used to use when some arrogant soldier would challenge him last minute on a plan six weeks in the making. He never used it against Chrom, but then, Chrom was always the one who’d approved those plans in the first place.

“Alright, alright.” Chrom rolls his eyes, but he’ll play along if it makes Robin feel better. “I’ll behave myself, Mother.”

Robin’s constant concern for him is honestly touching, even if it often leads Robin to be… bossy, to put it plainly. Chrom can’t always listen. He wouldn’t be true to himself if he didn’t fight for what’s important, no matter the risk.

But tonight, there is no harm in following. He is unsatisfied with the circumstances bringing him to this place, and Robin surely is as well. But just as Chrom is made happier in Robin’s presence, he hopes that he too can do something for Robin. They will have their work cut out for them as soon as the king returns to the castle.

He lies on his back, resting his head on his pillow. Closing his eyes, he sighs.

“You’ll tell me what’s wrong now, won’t you—”

There is a soft thump as something falls to the ground. The bed trembles with the addition of another person. And then, suddenly, Chrom finds himself straddled, his arms pinned down on either side of him.

“Shut up,” Robin hisses, his breath tickling Chrom’s cheek.

Chrom’s eyes fly open at once. Robin, coatless but more importantly _shirtless,_ is on top of him.

“H-Huh?” Chrom chokes out as his face turns to flame.

“Being here is insufferable,” Robin says through gritted teeth. “I’m going to make it more fun.”

“S-Since when have you...?”

Chrom trails off, the “felt this way” dying on his tongue as it occurs to him that all Robin has confessed to is being restless. Just because Chrom has been in love with his tactician for years doesn’t mean Robin is suddenly interested in having an ongoing relationship. In fact, that makes so little sense that Robin would probably make fun of him for it. Robin is the one who always made a big deal about not looking inappropriately close for a general and a tactician. Robin is the one who always brings up responsibility. It was Robin himself who told Chrom that he would be harassed for the rest of his life unless he married and had a child to placate his worried people in the wake of Emmeryn’s death.

“M-My wife!” he exclaims.”We, er, understand each other, but… I don’t want her reputation tarnished if it looks like I left the country just to cheat on her...”

“She’ll ruin her own reputation while you’re in Valm,” Robin sneers. “The court gossips already suspect her and that pretty songstress she brought with her from home.”

Chrom remembers the way his mother was suspected of infidelity when Lissa was born without the Brand. He remembers hearing rumors of illegitimate heirs scattered around the continent born during his father’s travels. There is no risk of he or his wife producing extramarital children, but he would still hate to see the ensuing scandal, especially if his wife is at the castle alone. Nor does he want Lucina growing up with such disrespectful speculation around her.

And yet, he is a selfish man. He would have asked Robin to marry him if Robin hadn’t been so in favor of him marrying someone else. He would have long ago confessed that his feelings go far beyond friendship if he had thought for even a second that Robin would let him finish. He is ashamed to admit that if at any time during the past two years of peace, Robin had asked him to abdicate the throne and run away with him, there is a very real chance that it would be Lissa talking to King Validar about crossing the ocean.

There is no way he is going to deny Robin tonight.

“You—” he says softly, but Robin interrupts him.

“Besides…” In the unlit room, Robin’s honey-gold eyes seem darker... Red, even. They’re beautiful. “No one will know of this. You’ll speak of it to no one… Come morning, it will all be as a dream.”

“Oh…” Chrom breathes.

He shouldn’t have expected anything different. Robin just wants to relieve his stress and forget about it.

Chrom can do that for him. When he thinks about it, it’s his fault that Robin doesn’t have anyone else to turn to, anyway. Many of the Shepherds met their spouses on the battlefield, but Chrom had kept Robin so close and so busy that he had no time to fall in love. Even in peacetime, Chrom always had something he desperately needed advice on… Robin was always there for him; he couldn’t possibly have had time for a lover. Chrom would have noticed!

So it’s only fair that he be the one to help Robin now.

Robin is still holding his limbs down rather tightly, but it takes a lot more than that to incapacitate Chrom. Chuckling, he rises up to meet Robin’s lips in a quick, gentle kiss.

“Let’s do it, then,” he whispers.

To his surprise, Robin loses his balance, falling backwards between Chrom’s legs.

“R-Robin…”

But Robin brushes aside Chrom’s concern with a scowl.

“Fine,” he says, resituating himself at the foot of the bed. “Turn over.”

As Robin makes to shed the little clothing he still has on, Chrom can’t help but notice that he doesn’t exactly seem in the mood yet.

“Er, so what are you planning to do…?” Chrom asks.

It occurs to him, given the circumstances and in light of Robin’s lost memories, Robin might not know how to proceed.

“Fuck you, obviously.”

“Right…” Chrom says as he shifts out of his own clothing. He’s already getting hard. Then again, Robin could be fully clothed and Chrom would still be half hard with him so close. “But have you ever done this before? Because I—”

“I know how this goes!” Robin insists.

Except the way he immediately reaches for himself says he absolutely does not.

“I hope you don’t intend to tear me in half,” Chrom says, making Robin frown at him.

With a sigh, Chrom laments the utter unforeseeability of Robin’s actions tonight. Were they at home, he could easily acquire any number of lubricants that would do the job. But here in Plegia, in the middle of the night, with no prior notice, his options are limited.

“Here, give me your hand,” he says.

Robin holds it out automatically, though he inhales a second later as though he thinks Chrom might decide to break it.

Chrom would never do such a thing, of course. He presses a kiss to Robin’s palm and smiles.

“You’re going to have to stretch me out a bit first,” he explains. “Spit will help with that. Er, at least a little. If you can stand my mouth on your fingers…”

Chrom watches Robin carefully for his reaction. Robin clearly isn’t thrilled, but he nods his assent.

“Whatever gets this done,” he mutters.

In an ideal scenario, Robin would be relaxed and happy to be with Chrom, and Chrom would take this part slowly, savoring Robin’s fingers one by one, each lick a promise of things to come later. Instead, Chrom fits three into his mouth at once, coating them with as much saliva as he can. It may not be particularly comfortable for Chrom this way, but he thinks he can at least make do.

“Put them in slowly, now.”

He flinches as he feels three fingers brush against his skin at once.

“I meant one at a time,” he says. “One and a time, and slowly. It’s alright…”

Even as he says it, he has to grit his teeth. Robin is not gentle with his first finger, and his nail scrapes against Chrom like he wants to claw out his insides. Obviously impatient, Robin adds another finger way too early, and when the third finger joins, Chrom feels more like a finger puppet than anything. There is no rhythm to Robin’s random motions, and Chrom’s gasps come more out of surprise than pleasure.

Honestly, he’s had more pleasurable times fucking himself on his own fingers as a teenager. But there is a crucial difference that still makes this night far better on the whole: these fingers belong to the person he cares for most in the world. He cannot pretend that this does not affect him, that he is not desperate for Robin to do anything he feels like to him. Every inexperienced jab reminds him that Robin has never practiced this, that Chrom is the only one who has been with him this way. It feels right. Robin is not his, but somehow he gives everything he has to Chrom anyway.

“That should be enough to work with,” Chrom says. He’s sure Robin must be tired of waiting. “You know the rest.”

He half expects Robin to try to thrust inside him that very instant, fingers in the way and all. But to his surprise, Robin removes his fingers, and nothing replaces them.

“I’ll get to it when I’m ready!” Robin growls in frustration.

Chrom turns his head over his shoulder, and that’s when he realizes that Robin _still_ isn’t erect.

It’s hardly surprising given their rushed and lackluster foreplay. Chrom stays his tongue, of course.

“Curse this body,” Robin continues muttering. “What more am I supposed to do?”

“Don’t force yourself,” Chrom says. “If you’d rather stop—”

“I cannot stop,” Robin hisses. “Not until this is through.”

His miserable look tears at Chrom’s heart. Chrom crawls over to him, gently pushing him down in a reversal of their original position. Instead of holding Robin’s arms down, though, he cups Robin’s cheek.

“You’re overthinking it,” he says gently. “What would you do if you were trying to get off on your own?”

“Ugh… I…” Robin looks into Chrom’s eyes, his mouth falling open dazedly. “I… haven’t…”

“Haven’t what?” Chrom murmurs.

“I haven’t… in so long, Chrom…” Robin breathes. “I always see _your_ face, and I… I can’t…”

Chrom’s heart thunders in his chest.

“Robin… I always see your face, too.” He rubs his thumb against Robin’s warm skin. “Always…”

He presses his lips to Robin’s yet again, holding the kiss just a little longer this time.

“But I don’t stop when I see your face,” he rasps. “I imagine us doing everything. For you, I do anything.”

Robin exhales shakily.

“But when I look at you right now, I only want one thing…” Chrom continues. “I want to see you come.”

He can feel Robin’s cock pressing against him now. Robin certainly ought to be able to fuck him like this. But Chrom has a different idea.

“I’ll make sure you do,” he says. “You lie here, just like this, and I’ll take care of it for you.”

Without looking away from Robin’s face, he trails his hand down Robin’s chest, then his stomach, before he finally lands at the base of Robin’s cock. As he strokes towards the tip, Robin lets out a breath and arches into the touch. Chrom wonders exactly how long Robin has been denying himself. It’s no wonder he’s in a rush.

Chrom brings his hand to his lips. In some other circumstance, he might do something about the traces of precum smeared on it, but Robin wants— _needs_ —a quicker release. He adds saliva to his palm and takes Robin in hand again. He strokes fast and hard until Robin’s face is glazed over in pleasure.

“Chr…” Robin chokes out. “Chrom…”

He wraps his arms around Chrom’s neck.

“Yes…” Cradling Robin’s head, Chrom pulls him upwards. “Yes…”

Suddenly, Chrom gasps as sharp pain hits his neck. Robin’s teeth sink into him, and though he has never imagined this before, he knows he certainly will in the future. His own cock is strained to its limit, and Robin’s is nearly there as well. With one hand holding Robin’s head steady against him, he takes both of their erections into his other hand and finishes them off together.

The sounds Robin makes are muffled by the skin still in his mouth, and Chrom is too accustomed to stifling the name on his lips to let out anything more than a heavy breath as hot lightning flows through him. For a blissful moment, they are the only two people in a quiet, peaceful world.

And then reality creeps back in. Robin detaches his teeth from Chrom’s flesh, blinking at the resulting marks as though unsure of what he’s just done. Chrom knows logically that he’s going to have to take a concoction to fix this and whatever the hell Robin’s nails did to him earlier, but perhaps not enough of reality has crept back into him yet, because he can only laugh at it and Robin’s face right now.

“I love you,” he says, smiling wide.

“Wh-What?”

Robin’’s eyes snap up to meet Chrom’s.

“Er, even if it’s obvious… ” Chrom chuckles. “You can’t expect me not to say it at a time like this…”

He knows that Robin wants them to be nothing more than king and advisor, commander and tactician. And he can pretend that’s the case to the rest of the world. But he can’t lie to his other half.

“I love you, Robin,” he reiterates. “I always have…”

And it kills him to see Robin, finally relaxed, begin to tense up again because of it.

“You can’t.” He has never heard Robin speak so coldly. “You aren’t supposed to.”

Before Chrom can form a response, Robin has already left the bed.

“That’s—” Chrom stammers as Robin haphazardly redresses. “That’s not _fair,_ Robin!”

“I _know_ it isn’t,” Robin growls, pulling his coat around him in a way that hides all of his otherwise disheveled clothing. “The world isn’t fair, Chrom!”

Chrom sighs. The world has been unfair to the both of them in so many ways already.

“There’s no reason we can’t have a relationship as long as we just keep it between us, keep it secret,” Chrom pleads, though he knows Robin will never relent. Robin doesn’ _want_ that with him and never has.

“You’ll keep a secret, all right,” Robin snarls. “I meant what I said before. Never speak of this night again. Not even to me. Do you understand? You can say what you want in a dream, but we have roles to play when we’re awake.”

Chrom understands. While it’s true that he and Robin carry heavy burdens, he thinks that if his people can suffer the wars he’s putting them through, they could stand to accept the king falling in love with the man who’s saved his life and his soul and his sanity time and again. But it isn’t about what he thinks. Chrom can’t put his own happiness over Robin’s.

“Fine. But that means you have to let me finish what I want to say for once.” Chrom gets up, putting himself between Robin and the door he keeps eyeing like an escape route. “I _love_ you, Robin.”

He pulls Robin towards him, his bare body pressing against the fabric of Robin’s coat. He does not go for another kiss, though his lips burn for it. He simply hugs Robin as hard as he can.

“You can come back to me any time,” he whispers into Robin’s ear. “It doesn’t have to stay a dream.”

“I’m sorry, Chrom…” For just a second, Robin squeezes him back. “But I made my decision long ago.”

There’s nothing Chrom can do. He knows stubbornness when he sees it. He knows how it feels to be inconvincible. And so he lets Robin go. He steps aside and lets Robin go back to being everything but his lover.

At least, in the end, he no longer finds it difficult to fall asleep.

Robin must get some sleep too, because while he is wary the next morning, he is nowhere near as agitated as he was when he came to Chrom.

“Good morning, Chrom” he greets. “Did they tell you? Apparently King Validar got back last night, while we were all asleep…”

So he really is going to pretend that nothing happened. Chrom sighs.

“So I suppose we have to meet him first thing, before we’ve had our breakfast.”

“They’re fetching someone to bring us to him now,” Robin agrees.

“Oh, joy,” he mutters, and Robin smiles wryly.

He’s glad that he can always count on making Robin smile.

The meeting is an uncomfortable one. First there is Aversa. She was there when Emmeryn died… She warped those Risen archers in to kill her, and if she hadn’t then maybe Robin’s plan would have succeeded… Maybe his sister would still be alive…

And then there is Validar. He and Robin fought and killed that man the day those assassins attacked the castle. But now he is alive and the king of Plegia. Something strange is going on.

But strangest of all is the Grimleal hierophant. His name is Robin. He looks like Robin. He is wearing exactly the same outfit as Robin.

And when Chrom catches his eyes, he swears they flash red for an instant… A familiar sort of red, though illuminated in a different light.

“What?” Chrom blurts out.

He flushes as he realizes he just shouted over whatever Validar was saying. But the hierophant merely gestures him forward with a smirk.

“Is there something you need from me, Exalt?”

“No, er… I apologize. It’s just that your resemblance to my tactician is uncanny,” he says. “And please… I did not assume that title, out of respect for my sister and the sacrifice she made for both our nations.”

“Ah, yes…” The hierophant murmurs. “It’s so tragic how the innocent always fall…”

Robin presses a hand against his shoulder, and it’s a good thing he does, or that damned hierophant would be paying for his twisted joke in blood. He cannot believe that for a second he actually thought…

What the hell _was_ he thinking? That some stranger could have visited his room? It was obviously Robin, _his tactician, Robin._ No one else knows him so well. No one else could make him feel the way he had. And certainly not a menacing hierophant conspiring with the people who tried to murder Emmeryn.

The hierophant trades an amused glance with Validar.

“Well, if that’s all you have to say…” he drawls.

“Do be careful on your way back to Port Ferox,” Aversa warns with false sweetness. “This time of year the highroads of Plegia can be quite treacherous…”

“Chrom,” Robin whispers as they head out. “I don’t know who that man is… but I’m sorry he said that to you with my face.”

“I know it wasn’t you saying it…” Chrom says. “I know you’re not heartless.”

Robin is restrained. Often far too restrained, and for no reason. But anyone could see how much he loves each and every one of the Shepherds.

“You could never be heartless,” Chrom assures him.


End file.
